guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
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Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
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The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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