I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
my poor anus
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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