guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
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