Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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