We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
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