Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I just forgot I was standing up.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize