My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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