The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
We were destined to go to rehab together
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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