We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
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It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
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My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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