I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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