So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
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Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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