I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
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