Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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