At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
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My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
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My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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