Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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