So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize