it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
We are two peas in an std pod
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
He literally asked permission to hit on me
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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