I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize