see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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