I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
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