"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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