i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize