I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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