Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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