Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize