I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize