I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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