I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize