So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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