next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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