A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize