All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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