it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
