He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
