maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize