I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
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And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
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151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Someone came in the potted fern
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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