The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
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