I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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