rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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