never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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