I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
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