I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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