now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
