god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
