I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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