I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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