Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Terrible idea I love it
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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