There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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