the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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