We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize