Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
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I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
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When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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