Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize