Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize