Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize