i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
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